Blankness. Blank thoughts. Can't think of what to think when asked 'what are you thinking'. That type of blank. Everyday. Well almost. Some moments aren't blank. Thats probably because I'm mad. Or I really like a song. Or when Im watching a movie. But otherwise, my mind is blank. Is that a good thing? No stress I guess. I've been through enough to not fall easily. I know better, so I pick myself quick once I first can tell that I'm falling, trippn. Whatever it is. This year was going by fast. But at this moment, shit man its goin' by real slow. Anyways, is it normal to not have any emotion? Like at all? Not happy. So does that immediately mean that I'm sad? I'm not exactly quite sad. But I'm pretty darn sure that I'm not happy. Someone, figure me out! Because I can't seem to figure myself out. Help me. No. Wait. Don't. I have to help myself. Pull myself outta this. Whatever 'this' is. God. What am I thinking. I have to be strong. I now have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. Its ok, I guess no one reads this anymore. Story, I'm dating, been dating someone for uhm, what.... 8 months? Sorta. Yet, we're going nowhere. Its just gonna stay there. Right where it was, and still is. I tell myself, Its ok. No rush. I've been through enough, no need for love. Right? Agree? Disagree? I doubt you would. Betchu anything you agree w/. Love has lost its meaning to me. W/ a significant other I meant. I feel like its not a need. Well friendship love w/ the girls<3, yes. But with someONE else. Unless that ONE person, can reassure me. That I CAN love. That its possible. I feel like, well lately, I've been, longer than lately. Just a friend to you, with LOTSA benefits. Don't feel bad. *deep breath. You oughta know. Boy. Something more than an I, miss you. Something more than, fucking. Something w/ making, love.