Thursday, December 5, 2013

so she dies
,
and takes the fire with her.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

I have accepted the silence that has swallowed me whole. 
I am the silence.
Unspoken of. 
Gone unnoticed. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

what can be more worse than the total agony of being in love?

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Well,

We can dwell on what was
or we can talk about what is.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Sound,

We'll build our fortress to keep them out
And in a world gone silent I'll be your sound

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Either,

it is either you inspire me
or
drain
       me.

Friday, August 16, 2013

You've gotta hit rock bottom before you know what direction to go in.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

If you lose yourself then
you lose me.
Because I go where you go.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Strangeness and Charm

And although we stick together it seems that we are stranging one another.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

The fourth,

Palm tree. Late shade of purple outlining silhouettes of what could bes. A blue moon as a substitute to the hidden. Mixtures of faint rumbles of what joy could be. No sights as usual.
The usual cool night of July. A singular night start and end of a night.
Place a reservation for one please?
Dinner is served.
My love.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Does not,

Something
someone
not many.
know how to love this one.
as others walk away,
there where this one stands.
stands tall.
as tall as this wall.
as this wall seems to fall.
this one is all ready to save the fall.
watch.
watch this one break that fall.
see.
see that fall come crumbling down on
her.
crushed.

try saving that,
dare.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Stay,

All along it was a fever
A cold sweat hot-headed believer

I threw my hands in the air, said, "Show me something,"

He said, "If you dare come a little closer."

Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know


Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you.

It takes me all the way.
I want you to stay


It's not much of a life you're living
It's not just something you take – it's given


Ooh the reason I hold on
Ooh cause I need this hole gone
Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving
Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving

Friday, May 31, 2013

You're more in love with the memories than the person standing in front of you.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Comparison?

My nightmare just came true in my nightmare.
I have never woke up in such pain before.
I've died before.
But death's pain could not compare to the one I felt just now.
I don't know if the pain was felt in my dream or when I woke up.
Or both.

But right now, all the ecstasy, the coke, the weed, the cigarettes, the pain killers...
none.
none of those can get rid of this pain.
Its giving me this uneasy feeling in my stomach.
Taking a shit won't even solve this gut feeling.
Not even throwing up.
Strain, misery, torture, burn, all electrified.


Saturday, May 18, 2013

You shrug and its the worse.
Who truly stuck the knife in first

But,

"
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine
"

Strange,

:Metamorphosis.
;When the caterpillar thought its life has ended, it turned into a butterfly.
:Free to flutter.
127

:Small chance.
;Small chance is still a chance. And life is too short to not take chances.
126

:Well I miss thinking about nothing while staring at you.






Past tense.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

180/

for the devil,
the devil within me. you.
I.
take a lookandsee.


what have you done to yourself.
who are you now, my little devious angel.
not him.
the devilish smile of yours that once was permanent.
has now...

who are you now
not him.
lilith.
satan.

don't lie to yourself now.
i know you know.
speak your thoughts.
out loud.

in your head.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Clock in,
clocked out.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Places,

that we will go
wanted to go
thought of going.
will turn into places.
just places
that we should've gone.
I don't like that.
Let's make it places,
that we've been to.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Monday, April 22, 2013

"We were like strangers who knew each other very well"

Please,
if words cannot be used,
spoken.
Kiss.
Yes! A kiss, a kiss can be your question if you wonder.
Or the answer,
the answer I'm looking for.
The answer I'd love to hear,
or fear.
Either or,
kiss.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Once in a blue moon,

special will make his way to you.
Its your decision to whether accept his offer or let it slide.
Whether or not you will let him hang around or dismiss him early.
And if you let him stick around,
its also Special's choice to make...
if he wants to make the best out of that time.
If you know how to appreciate it.
And if so..
If so.
Sobeit,
And so we go on.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

It all makes sense now,

In a sense, I’m the one who ruined me: I did it myself.
                                                       Haruki Murakami 

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Washed,

And all the negativity in me just disappeared.
Washed away.
Like the ocean.
Only this time,
it didn't come back.
It got lost.
In the sea.
All that matters.
All that I am left with
now
is anything but.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Three, four,

Empty isn't the word
we use.
Not knowing is the line.
Because you do know,
we
you
me
who
made the choice to neglect
to know.
Burn, baby burn.
Ice it.
Completely, don't.
Don't love me like you can.
Love me like you would.
Not like anyone should.
There's no way you could love like should could.
S'too much.
Who could?
Why would.
One,
Two.

Under the water.
Dare you to burn.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Sight,

Sometimes the eye sees things more than it can actually view. There's more to things than what meets the eye. I wonder, how come? How come this, how come that? Why do you think you see that. You see good in them you see bad in them. What does that mean? What can you see. You only see what you think you see. It may be an imagination but what if it is real. What makes things real. The good and the bad. How are those real, how can you tell? The happy and the sad, what you see in their eyes. Is it really communicating something. Are they trying to send you a message? Or do you just think you see. That you can "tell".
How?

I rather be blind.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

326am,

yesterday mixed with today.
comes around as a cycle.
unclear, foggy.
sunshine bright fuzz.
some minutes just go by easier than others.
Other seconds seem like hours passing on by.
tick.
.
.
tock.
ticktock.
side to side.
answer.
unravel itself.
slither.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

257am,

i think.
maybe.
i kinda
sorta
almost
love...


good night,
you.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Catch,

tests,
campus,
chai, latte.
Ride your own.
Snapchats.
Crash.
Physics.
Almonds. Chile lemon and applewood.
L.
SOMA.
Brainwash cafe.
doomburger and cheesesteaks.
beer and italian soda. peach.
comedy show.
kind of.
not that much comedy.
walks, cold.
leather jackets.
paper tiger.
chai, green tea soy. warmth.
kiss.
random woman catches.
"spank each other"
boss of my heart.
sf.
random homeless high.
magic tricks, practice.
cable car.
stand.
hold. hold on. hold onto me.
thoughts, (fall, catch me).
views, cold fingers.
bay bridge.
last stop, pier.
sax.
F, castro.
L.
E&E.
Homework.
Try. not so fail.
XXYYXX.
Take off your cool.



Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Grapefruit,

Boba?
*scribble
Night time.
My moon.
All nighter day 1.
Random conversations,
not so random.
Night time, warm bed.
Light but strong touches.
Shared.
E.
Conversations.
Mirror, reflection, to reflect.
Parallel.
XX 6/01
Jazz.
Badu.
House.
Fiery.
Understand.
Odd.
Same page?
Questions left answered.
Eyes darker than a new moon midnight.
Peek.
Lips compliment.
Scruff.
Blindness.
Sangria.
Pyramid.
Mimosa, grapefruit.
6am.
Exclusive?
Exclusive.
Dance, groove, party,
Under wing.
Sleep, as if its only you.
And as if its only me.
Wake, opposite.
And look for you.
Silver Lining.
Crazy.
Deep.
Thoughts.
What's wrong?
Feels right.
Touch, feel, sight.
Kiss, hard, light.
Left side. shoulders, neck, lobes.
Lightly. Lower back.
Kink.
Freak.
No. Same.
Truth or lie.
Still truth.
One.





Day time
Your sun.
Panther Beach? No. Scott Creek.
No trail.
Can we make it up there?
...piece a cake.
Hidden bench, found.
Find end of the creek, fail.
No cars coming? Run.
Highway 1.
Freezing beautiful sunset.
Bike. Lombard.
Cookie. Castro.
Mission. walk, late lunches, bus.
Galleria. failed rooftop garden.
Dolores Park. high, sunkissed, hummingbird, dogs.
Philz.
Iced Milk and Hot Black.
Marina. bus, cold, like rowdy kids roaming around the slippery rocks.
Skipping rocks. Mischievous thoughts on how to get across the water to the boats.
Off the grid? Fail.
North beach. bus. Crosby Morgan, love, voice.
Books.
-end.
Long days of work.
4 hours.
Really.
Ice cream- Slocombe. Arugula. Coffee.
Print wrapping paper, typewriter, cards.
Pie. Raspberry pear. Dutch apple.
Coffee.
Cards, vacuum: I suck.
Call out, no excuse.
Macaroon. Playground dome.
Aether.
Corset, better use for shipment we'd say.
Showers.
Pastries and coffee.
Cafe Au Lait.
SHM 2/14
Dance.
Eternal Sunshine.
Spotless mind.
Thoughts.
More coffee.
Superbowl.
Better off downstairs.
Calc quiz, your luck.
Stress, forgotten.
Benedict, vegetarian.
Apollo. cry, whine, friends?
Parks, others, stares, black.
Flirt, trouble, laughter, carefree.
Lingerie.
Sex.
Eat.
Food.
You.
Lunch, brunch.
Wings.
Burger.
Truffle fries.
Cream puffs, coffee.
Bittersweet.
Our thing.
One.



Saturday, February 9, 2013

Friday, February 1, 2013

--And then

it starts to fall into place.

Monday, January 28, 2013

'Flect,

I see you.
In front of me.
But through those dark eyes so familiar.
Similar.
I see me.
Not physically.
Its...the mind.
I see a mind like mine.
Fascinating, dark, kept, mysterious, open.
Contradictions.
I can read your silence so clearly.
But the uncertainty will always cause me to retract.
To doubt.
This is kind of like looking into a mirror.
And seeing a reflection is normal.
But seeing your reflection talk back can be a lot for anyone to take in.
I've always wondered.
Y'know?
How it'd be like to date yourself.
I always thought.
Hey,
how can I expect anyone else to understand me when even I couldn't understand myself.
Hypocrite.
Me.
But you.
Though.
Different but somehow everything just makes sense..
In a way.
Clear but the same time confusing.
Iffy.
Unsure.
Comfortable but that comfort can get very uncomfortable.
At least for me.
Fuck.
I smile.
Relax, I tell myself that and so I try that.
Damn.
Its a nice feeling.
No. Don't.
Yes. Please.
I don't know if I know or not.
I want to stop.
But I want to keep going.
I can't lose something I don't have though.
Then why am I frightened.
Look away.
Damn emotions.
Why'd I let it get in the way.
Go away. I don't need it.
But stay for another minute, would you?
No I couldn't ask. The other one shouldn't ask.
The other one just takes what one can.
Another other.

Stop.
Just forget about it.