Proposal,

I said I wouldn't get married.
Or have kids.
And I'd only get married just to get married.
And wear the dress.
And go on a honeymoon.
But I think,
I'll say yes to the love only if,
love proposes with a darling snake ring.
Daring.
Love.

 

“Goat demons shall greet each other; there too the lilith will repose.”

-Isaiah 34:14

http://occult.livejournal.com/302920.html 

Leighton Meester & Mike Frieman of Check in the Dark - "The Stand In" (C...

LYRICS:
i saw an angel night before last
they come from kentucky, who'd have thought that?
she had a smile, it was so genuinely kind
sorta make you feel like you're sipping on some fine red wine

she rendered me speechless, well she rendered me still
she had me feeling like the fool on the hill
she said she's taken but i don't believe
that she could be meant for anybody but me

angels come from kentucky i guess
sweet sweet girl you made my head a mess
you got me locked out here, dancing in the rain
drunk with the thought of your smiling face
i know you are an angel and it can not be
but what if it was you and what if it was me
and...what if 600 years ago, you were juliet and I was...
well you know how that story goes....

so what if its a puzzle and you're the only piece the only jig to make my saw complete
what if i go stumbling for the rest of my days because i am a cripple and you were my cane oh no....
angels come from kentucky i guess
sweet sweet girl you made my head a mess
you got me locked out here, dancing in the rain
drunk with the thought of your smiling face
i know you are an angel and it can not be
but what if it was you and what if it was me
and...what if 600 years ago, you were juliet and I was...
well you know how that story goes....

OPEN SPACE

OPEN SPACE
http://blog.sfmoma.org/2011/05/henry-urbach-on-tobias-wong/

"Charismatic? Absolutely. But perhaps something more than that: this project was an act of love. It was fueled by loss and regret and admiration — an obstinate, urgent commitment to honor and sustain. In museum galleries, the charismatic and bureaucratic will, ideally, find homeostasis or at least a delicate balance. But not always. Doesn’t love, after all, owe more to madness than reason?"

I'm willing to take the risk,

"So petrified, I'm so scared to step into this ride,
What if I lose my heart and fail the climb?
I won't forgive me if I give up trying,."

Lie,

Something I don't have to do and haven't done.

Ahead,

The other day, I came across this picture. Obviously this is not an image of me. I did not take this picture. But this picture struck a lot of emotion inside of me. I don't know exactly why nor I have any memory of my thoughts. This is just here as a reminder for me. There is so much I want to say. There is so many feelings being conveyed here. So much, but coming down to it...
It results in nothing.
Just ahead.

Shake up.

Shake me back into the dream.
or back to reality.
For I cannot tell one from the other.
When spacing out,
am I looking out to reality or
is it just a dream/thought.
I don't know.
Fuck.
My brain.
Ugh.
Back to blank-mode.

Keep,

slow.
steady.
up a little.
steady.
steady.
grow.
keep.
you around.
a bit longer.
us,
enjoying.
making every moment worth it.
keep,
you.
yours.
close.
and closer.

Prom Night-- April 16th.

Hey you,

 

You've got a beautiful mind. And I crave it.
My dear, Mr.Cirocksf.

Re-

-tracting.

Sorry.

Lately,

Chill. Relax. Chill. Giggles. Laughs. Kisses. Hugs(>_<). You. Show. Tell.

I don't know.  
Just going to take it all in and enjoy every moment of this while it lasts. 
You make me anxious.
Excited.
You make me smile on the inside.
I like you.
Fuck my life.

Interesting days.

It might not be quite interesting to others but compared to my regular days, its pretty insane. Ok, not insane, but its something good. Not having a car is a bummer and a hassle. I can't drive anywhere. I feel like I've lost my legs. That's a bit too exaggerated. Anyways, lately, I've been sharing a side of me that I usually just keep to myself to someone that I've only really known for a little over a month. Don't get it twisted now, I'm not too crazy. Not too sprung. Just calm. And pretty interested. The girls show interest when I mention you, talk of you. Its nothing too grand. Its believable. The girls questions whether it is a fling or if its serious. Well, it has been only a short period of time, but hey I'll tell you, its been a pretty great short period of time and I don't think I've wasted it. I don't waste my time on flings. If I wanted it to be a fling, I would not waste my time even talking. Its been nice to click with someone pretty quick. At the same time, this process is scaring me and I find my find myself sometimes retracting into my own little shell. I'm not the type to be cared for. I'm not a long-term relationship girl. I'm a month, a weekly typa love. I'm the girl that will make you crazy for a month or so. I'm the type of girl that will believe in crazyness-- that crazyness will never last. You can like me but you will never love me. If you ever make me fall, you'll end up being in-hate with yours truly here. I am not lying, although I might be able to catch myself saying that I will not lie about being honest. Honestly, I'll be damned lying. We are not two peas in a pod. Don't ever call us that because I do not believe in perfection. I stand for myself, not for you. Selfish should not be the word to describe me. I am more selfless than any other. My heart is literal. My mind is concrete. I will not think outside of the box but I am quite open minded and open to new ideas. I will and can only understand if you are logically correct. Don't tell me something 'just because' and don't give me reasons followed by and I-don't-know. You know, and you will find it. No one is ever worth it so don't tell me that I am worth it. Do you and I'll do me. Love me later, but in the meantime, decode me. I am predictable and simply insane. I am no psychotic bitxh. I'm kind. I'm not nice. I'm soft inside that is why I have a hard shell. I am not hard to get, although you just have to let me relax and let you in. I don't see you any different than the others yet. In my eyes, you are you. Please don't get confused. Word for word, is not the way to understand me. Read between the lines, the silence, the pauses. Don't pay too close of attention to my word choices. Good day, to you.

The XX-Night Time

Thanks, Sean.

Ahead of time,

The rest of March

• JA teaching
• Send in SFSU housing app asap!
• Ahill Fantastics 3/18
• Accel orientation 3/23

April

• Send in the 'yes' for SFSU 4/1
• Class schedules are out 4/1 
• No school 4/8
• SF orientation date (choose classes) 4/9 
• Alex's 20th. 4/15 
• Prom 4/16

May

•  Ahill graduation 5/25 (?)
• Graduation 5/27

June

•  Start work again @ Mountain View Pharmaceuticals
• Best's 17th birthday
• My 18th birthday

July

• I have absolutely no idea. 
• 4th of July 7/4 

August

• Move in date for SFSU! 8/17
• First day of Fall Semester @ SFSU 8/23