I deleted my last post. I don't think that blogspot is a smart place to share my most secretive thoughts, feelings, emotions. Xanga has a privacy button, therefore I have reposted it on there. Some people may be able to read it, but not all. Mm, so my thoughts run a whole lot and fast at night. When I'm almost sleepy and all. My mind starts racing. Oh god I have never hated thinking so much in my whole life before til nows. I don't want those thoughts. I try my best to shut off my brain, so I can just sleep soundly. I think I've lost my sense of feelings. Its possible you know that? I learned it in Psych class. Funny how I even know that, I barely pay attention in class. But yeah, for example. I know I'm supposed to FEEL a certain way when something occurs or comes up. I just don't feel it. Shall I call it numbness? I'm not sure.
I haven't gaven up on something in a long while. But now, at this phase I'm practically giving up on almost everything. My school work is what's bothering me. I used to be top of the class, believe it or not. I used to be the one that was trying to push all of my other friends in the right path. Funny, yes. I'm actually a really caring person. I've always been the type to put others before my own self. People tell me I shouldn't do so, its not that healthy for you. Yeah of course I know. I have my own moments where I think to myself and all. Ask myself questions, answer them myself in differnt views, perspectives. I remember, I used to be the one others came to for advice, on anything. Because I've been through most, yeah I'm still young. But I've been through enough, too much for a 16 year old, is what most adults would say if they knew. Only if.
I don't know why I'm typing right now, a bit more than I usually do nowadays. I wonder if I miss who I used to be.. Is who I used to be, good...or bad(?) I think things I say don't always make sense to people. I have a way w/ words, especially mine. Hm, I don't want to be such an emotional person. But I guess I can't exactly always stop it. In person, I'm not that deep of a person, I've lost touch of my deep side. I guess you can put it that way.
I'm not sure who I'm typing to, but I'm just typing whatever comes to mind before my photo class @915. I haven't shot pictures in a while. I've lost motivation. I forgot ever since when, but I'm pretty sure I did. I wonder if its him. Nah....yeah....He was practicallly the only person that believed in me, no matter what. He was the reason why I tried. Because I knew I was smarter than him in a way. I'm not saying this to offend anybody whatsoever. I sorta wanted to set an example for him to follow. He didn't know WHAT to do w/ his life, his knowledge and such. I want him to do better because I knew he could. And he is! His parents don't believe in him, no. Not as much as I did. And I still do. No matter what. I don't have to have any connection with him in order to beleive in him and support him in my own way, in my own mind. I know he can do anything by himself, for he is a strong human being.
I'm glad, that I don't see him in church anymore. Even if I did, he sure doesn't see me. I sit on the other side of church, in between my girls. So they can block him away from my sight, and my thoughts. Trust me, these girls that I have right now, they are the best. They mean so much to me. I'm glad they understand. I can't be ever more grateful to have them in my life.
I should cut here.
Its my dad's birthday today. He's turning 65. I bet you he's probably as old as your guy's grandpa/ma.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
People,
"people will always come and go, in and out of our lives, but if theyre meant to be part of our lives, no matter what happens, theyll make it back to us, somehow.."
Reallly?
Reallly?
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
;souliberation
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart??
Oh man. I should know this one. Can I state more than one?
The fastest way to a man’s heart is through all 5 senses.
Hearing; We can offer you a better relationship than wat any “friend” can give. Becuz not onlydo u have a friendship with ”ur girl” but we play both parts. A bestfriend and a woman to come home to.
Touching; We will become the sluts u want us to be behind closed doors. Please u in all ways possible and accomplish as many fantazies that we both can. Hey, maybe we can even invent our own sex position?
Tasting; Tasting doesn’t have to mean lip to lip. Or mouth on any organ. Tasting can come in fashion, recipies, taste in music, taste in clothing, ect ect. Who doesn’t love puttin their significant other “on” to any of the above. When you and ur partner have more in common, you tend to enjoy each others company way more. Trust.
Seeing; We must see eye to eye. MEANING, the relationship we carry, must be a 50-50% relationship. No one runs each other. No one demands nothing more or nothing less but equalty. You have ur freedom for things, such as I. No if, and’s or maybe’s. This is also where trust falls in.
And last but not least..
Smelling; Have you ever heard of the phrase “something smell’s fishy?” In order for a relationship to function properly, u must hold trust. Without trust, we will not function. Trust is one of many keys to a beautiful & positive relationship. Note that* Trust equals to confidence. And confidence is key.
Oh man. I should know this one. Can I state more than one?
The fastest way to a man’s heart is through all 5 senses.
Hearing; We can offer you a better relationship than wat any “friend” can give. Becuz not onlydo u have a friendship with ”ur girl” but we play both parts. A bestfriend and a woman to come home to.
Touching; We will become the sluts u want us to be behind closed doors. Please u in all ways possible and accomplish as many fantazies that we both can. Hey, maybe we can even invent our own sex position?
Tasting; Tasting doesn’t have to mean lip to lip. Or mouth on any organ. Tasting can come in fashion, recipies, taste in music, taste in clothing, ect ect. Who doesn’t love puttin their significant other “on” to any of the above. When you and ur partner have more in common, you tend to enjoy each others company way more. Trust.
Seeing; We must see eye to eye. MEANING, the relationship we carry, must be a 50-50% relationship. No one runs each other. No one demands nothing more or nothing less but equalty. You have ur freedom for things, such as I. No if, and’s or maybe’s. This is also where trust falls in.
And last but not least..
Smelling; Have you ever heard of the phrase “something smell’s fishy?” In order for a relationship to function properly, u must hold trust. Without trust, we will not function. Trust is one of many keys to a beautiful & positive relationship. Note that* Trust equals to confidence. And confidence is key.
In case,
CASE OF THE EX*
Why is it that when couples “move on” and later down the road they become lonely, they tend to run to their ex’s??
OR
Why is it when couples “move on” and later down the road they find somebody else that happends to spark their interests BUT once they argue and fight, they tend seek their ex for a comfort zone??
PEOPLE if you haven’t noticed, this is very unhealthy. This causes confusion. And lots of it. You end up recieving the “oh man you remember that one time…..?” type of reminiscing phone calls instead of the “fuck you! I hate u! I wish I never met u in my life!” convo’s that you’ve had with each other before you both decided to call it QUITS.
Not only does this cause confusion but confusion leads to the “um…babe, I need a break to think this through.” (which I’m sure we’ve all heard.) And that becomes hard to deal with and who ever it is that this is being told to, will obviously be hurt. TAKE NOTE: that this “I need a break” bullshit ass excuse, gives us, the people, the right to have our gaurd up.
In conclusion: If you plan on leaving ur significant other, for any particular reason, and make sure it’s a good one, keep in mind that this is the last and final straw. No ifs, ands or maybes.
http://souliberation.tumblr.com/post/136711091/case-of-the-ex-why-is-it-that-when-couples-move
No mores,
I no longer care so much about disappointing people. So guess what, I will continue to do. What makes me, ME. I think its useless trynna be perfect, trynna be good, trying too hard to be something I'm not. Y'know whats? MMR09, ;] Everybody loves teddybears. Sure you'll love me w/ teddybear eyes.
familiar looking, ain't it? Dnt be scared, don't judge. Wait, even if you do. Oh wells, see if I give a f.
familiar looking, ain't it? Dnt be scared, don't judge. Wait, even if you do. Oh wells, see if I give a f.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Time killah
[] I am a boy.
[x] I am a girl.
[x] I am shorter than 5’4.
[X] I think I’m ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[X] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I’ve had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[X] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[X] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[] I have more than 2 piercings.
[] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.
Family/Home Life
[x] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[X] I’ve run away from home.
[] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
[X] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
{] I’ve lost a child.
School/Work
[X] I’m in school
[] I have a job
[X] I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do/did my homework.
[] I’ve missed a week or more of school.
[] I’ve been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[] I’ve stolen something from my job.
Embarrassment
[X] I’ve slipped out an “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[X ] I’ve peed from laughing.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[X] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[X] I’ve glued my hand to something.
[X] I’ve had my pants rip in public
Health
[] I was born with a disease/impairment
[ ] I’ve gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I’ve broken a bone.
[ ] I’ve had my tonsils removed.
[x] I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[X] I’ve had chicken pox.
[ ] I’ve had measles
Traveling
[x] I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day
[X] I’ve been on a plane.
[] I’ve been to Canada.
[] I’ve been to Mexico
[] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[] I’ve been to Japan.
[ ] I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[] I’ve been to Europe.
[] I’ve been to Africa.
Experiences
[X] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
{] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[] I’ve wished on a shooting star
[ ] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[X] I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
[X] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[X] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[X] I’ve been to a casino.
[ ] I’ve been skydiving.
[x] I’ve gone skinny dipping.
[X] I’ve played spin the bottle.
[] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] I’ve crashed a car.
[] I’ve been skiing.
[X] I’ve been in a play.
[x] I’ve met someone in person from Myspace.
[] I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I’ve seen the Northern lights.
[] I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
[X] I’ve played chicken.
[X] I’ve played a prank on someone
[X] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[X] I’ve eaten sushi.
[] I’ve been snowboarding.
Relationships
[X] I’m single
[] I’m in a relationship
[ ] I’m engaged.
[ ] I’m married.
[X] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[x] I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
[X] I miss someone right now.
[X] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced.
[X] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[X] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[x] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
[X] I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
[x] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
[X] I am a cuddler.
[X] I’ve been kissed in the rain.
[X] I’ve hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger.
Honesty/Crime
[X] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
[X] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[X] I’ve snuck out of my house.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[X] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[X] I’ve cheated on a test.
[] I’ve run a red light.
[] I’ve been suspended from school.
[X] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[] I’ve been arrested.
Drugs/Alcohol
[X] I’ve consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[] I’ve passed out from drinking.
[] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[] I’ve smoked weed
[x] I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
[] I’ve eaten shrooms.
[x] I’ve popped E.
[ ] I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
[E isnt hard right?] I’ve done hard drugs.
[X] I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[X] I shut others out when I’m depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[] I have been anorexic or bulimic.
[X] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
[x] I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
[X] I’ve woken up crying.
Death and Suicide
[ ] I’m afraid of dying.
[] I hate funerals.
[x] I’ve seen someone dying.
[] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x scary I know] I’ve planned my own suicide
[ ] I’ve attempted suicide.
[ ] I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
Materialism
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[X] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[x] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[X] I own something from Hot Topic.
[X] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[] I own something from The Gap.
[] I own something I got on e-bay.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.
Random
[ ] I can sing well.
[x] I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x ] I open up to others easily.
[X] I watch the news.
[ ] I don’t kill bugs.
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[x] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[] I’m a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[ x] I have “x”s in my screen name.
[] I love being neat.
[X] I love Spam.
[] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day
[] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[X] I’ve worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[X] I know how to shoot a gun
[X] I am in love with love.
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[X] I laugh at my own jokes.
[X] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[X] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[X] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[X] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[X] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[] I play video games.
[x] I’m good at remembering names.
[X] I’m good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
[x] I am a girl.
[x] I am shorter than 5’4.
[X] I think I’m ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[X] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I’ve had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[X] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[X] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[] I have more than 2 piercings.
[] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.
Family/Home Life
[x] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[X] I’ve run away from home.
[] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
[X] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
{] I’ve lost a child.
School/Work
[X] I’m in school
[] I have a job
[X] I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do/did my homework.
[] I’ve missed a week or more of school.
[] I’ve been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[] I’ve stolen something from my job.
Embarrassment
[X] I’ve slipped out an “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[X ] I’ve peed from laughing.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[X] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[X] I’ve glued my hand to something.
[X] I’ve had my pants rip in public
Health
[] I was born with a disease/impairment
[ ] I’ve gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I’ve broken a bone.
[ ] I’ve had my tonsils removed.
[x] I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[X] I’ve had chicken pox.
[ ] I’ve had measles
Traveling
[x] I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day
[X] I’ve been on a plane.
[] I’ve been to Canada.
[] I’ve been to Mexico
[] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[] I’ve been to Japan.
[ ] I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[] I’ve been to Europe.
[] I’ve been to Africa.
Experiences
[X] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
{] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[] I’ve wished on a shooting star
[ ] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[X] I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
[X] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[X] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[X] I’ve been to a casino.
[ ] I’ve been skydiving.
[x] I’ve gone skinny dipping.
[X] I’ve played spin the bottle.
[] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] I’ve crashed a car.
[] I’ve been skiing.
[X] I’ve been in a play.
[x] I’ve met someone in person from Myspace.
[] I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I’ve seen the Northern lights.
[] I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
[X] I’ve played chicken.
[X] I’ve played a prank on someone
[X] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[X] I’ve eaten sushi.
[] I’ve been snowboarding.
Relationships
[X] I’m single
[] I’m in a relationship
[ ] I’m engaged.
[ ] I’m married.
[X] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[x] I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
[X] I miss someone right now.
[X] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced.
[X] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[X] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[x] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
[X] I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
[x] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
[X] I am a cuddler.
[X] I’ve been kissed in the rain.
[X] I’ve hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger.
Honesty/Crime
[X] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
[X] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[X] I’ve snuck out of my house.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[X] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[X] I’ve cheated on a test.
[] I’ve run a red light.
[] I’ve been suspended from school.
[X] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[] I’ve been arrested.
Drugs/Alcohol
[X] I’ve consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[] I’ve passed out from drinking.
[] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[] I’ve smoked weed
[x] I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
[] I’ve eaten shrooms.
[x] I’ve popped E.
[ ] I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
[E isnt hard right?] I’ve done hard drugs.
[X] I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[X] I shut others out when I’m depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[] I have been anorexic or bulimic.
[X] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
[x] I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
[X] I’ve woken up crying.
Death and Suicide
[ ] I’m afraid of dying.
[] I hate funerals.
[x] I’ve seen someone dying.
[] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x scary I know] I’ve planned my own suicide
[ ] I’ve attempted suicide.
[ ] I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
Materialism
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[X] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[x] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[X] I own something from Hot Topic.
[X] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[] I own something from The Gap.
[] I own something I got on e-bay.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.
Random
[ ] I can sing well.
[x] I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x ] I open up to others easily.
[X] I watch the news.
[ ] I don’t kill bugs.
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[x] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[] I’m a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[ x] I have “x”s in my screen name.
[] I love being neat.
[X] I love Spam.
[] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day
[] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[X] I’ve worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[X] I know how to shoot a gun
[X] I am in love with love.
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[X] I laugh at my own jokes.
[X] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[X] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[X] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[X] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[X] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[] I play video games.
[x] I’m good at remembering names.
[X] I’m good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
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